Single Moms

Stories From Single Moms

 

 

Donna B 002

I ‘ve been raising my two sons alone since 2001. They were 5 and 8, now they’re 18 and 21. I started attending S.P.A.C.E. Bible study September 8, of 2012. I had been hoping to find a Bible study support group with others who have a similar situation. So, I was very happy when I found S.P.A.C.E.

It has been a blessing having Sandy facilitate, and everyone I met has been such an encouragement. The Bible study empowers me to keep moving forward. I’ve learned who God is, plus His Word has been a comfort to my stressful situation. Every month the lesson is on a different topic with group discussion. At the end of the Bible study, I feel renewed and hopeful because the challenges I face as a single parent, is in God’s hand and He is working everything out for my good.

I have no words to describe how difficult my journey has been over the past 13 years as a single parent. However, I have never been alone, God has always been there for me.
My favorite Bible verse is Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

My prayer for every single parent is that they will allow God to open their eyes to see the provision He already has in place for them.

 

 

                                             

Liesel B 003

Several years ago, I was discussing spiritual things with a Believer when he recommended that I read the Gospel according to John, and the book of Romans. I read John but didn’t understand how or why this would change someone’s life;  I asked God to show me what I was missing, and then I read Romans. In the midst of reading Romans I realized that though I was alive physically, spiritually I was dead because of my sins, and Jesus had died so that I could live spiritually. Immediately my eyes were opened, and suddenly the Bible made sense to me; I was filled with love for Jesus and thankfulness to God.

God has always been my provider. He led me to Himself, provided a savior (His Son), He has given me more than I deserve -especially what I deserved was death, and He has blessed me with a wonderful job, children and a home. Above all, He is an ever present source of wisdom for me as long as I ask and believe.

I’m thankful He has provided S.P.A.C.E. as an opportunity to meet others, study the Bible and learn how to apply it to my life. Many times what was taught and discussed was exactly what I needed.  S.P.A.C.E. has been a great encouragement to me and it’s certainly one of the many ways God has been my provider.

 

 

DSCN6060

The thing that I struggle most with as a single mom is feeling inadequate.  I left my husband when my daughter was 3 weeks old.  I left because he was verbally and emotionally abusive, and things were getting worse all through my pregnancy.  By the time the baby was born I was scared to death that my husband was going to hurt me – or worse. Despite this, I felt inadequate as a wife.  Why was my husband so angry all the time?  Why couldn’t I make him happy?  I have since come to realize that the way he treated me was in no way my fault.  But I still struggle with feelings of inadequacy.

I feel inadequate as a mother because I can’t provide my daughter with a “normal” family experience – you know, mom, dad, brothers and sisters.  I feel inadequate as a daughter because not only did I come back home to live with my parents, I brought an extra person with me!

I feel inadequate as an employee because my daughter always comes first and I can never give 100% to my job.  I feel inadequate as a friend because I no longer put in the time or effort to keep in touch.  Sure, everyone is busy. However, I don’t do it because I no longer feel like I fit in with my friends who are all happily married and busy raising their “perfect” families.  I feel inadequate as a Christian because “good Christian girls” don’t get divorced.  And I feel inadequate as a human being because I just can’t do it all myself.  I’m unable to work full-time to provide for my daughter and also be there to drive for her class field trips, to take her to all of her many therapy appointments (she was recently diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder), and to generally provide her with the love, support, and quality time that she needs in order to be successful in life.  I just can’t.

Luckily, I don’t have to!  I serve a God who promises rest for the weary and strength for the weak.  I serve a God who promises to work everything – EVERYTHING, even the things I struggle with – together for the good of those who serve Him.  I serve a God who does not look at me and see a struggling single mom but a precious daughter whose sins have been paid for by the blood of His own precious son!

When feelings of inadequacy threaten to overcome me, I try to remember all the blessings in my life. Quite often I look back on the past 9 years and remember all the times when God worked things out for me and my daughter in ways that I could never have imagined.  Feeling inadequate as a mom?  I thank God for the blessing of my daughter. God knew before she was born that I would raise her as a single mom – and He still gave her to me!  He must believe that I can do it!

Sometimes I feeling like a loser because I am 38 and living with my parents.  On the bright side, I thank God that I have parents who love me and my daughter enough to help us out in that way. Other times I feel down because I have been out of work twice in the past 2 years and I had to accept more money from my parents than I could ever hope to pay back.

There are days when I feel like  life is unfair because while all my friends are taking beautiful vacations with their husband and children, I am back in court fighting with my ex-husband because my special needs daughter do not want more visitation with an angry father who claims she “has no issues.”  I remember all the previous times when God has protected my daughter and answered my prayers for her in ways that went above and beyond what I even thought to ask for.  Wondering why, when I was always the “good Christian girl” who followed all the rules and never rebelled – why did I end up as a divorced single mom (something I never in all my wildest dreams would have ever thought of as a possibility for my life)?  I thank God that through the struggle, He has brought me closer to Him.  I

I remember all the previous times when God has protected my daughter and answered my prayers for her in ways that went above and beyond what I even thought to ask for.  The question I keep asking myself is, “why did I end up as a divorced single mom?” I never in all my wildest dreams would have ever thought of this as a possibility for my life. Nonetheless, I thank God that through the struggle, He has brought me closer to Him.  I would have never learned to trust Him as I do now. I wouldn’t have learned compassion for the struggles of others had I not gone through my own.

Do I remember to be thankful every day?  No.  Some days are hard.  Some days I still feel inadequate.  All I ever wanted in life was a husband who loves me and a whole bunch of kids.  That is not the life I have.  I used to think it was impossible to be happy without those things.  Now, I thank God that I  know I can have joy in any situation because I serve a God who loves me enough to send His son to die just so that I could have a relationship with Him!